


I'm On Fire

by muddy_peacock



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 02:00:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7958002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muddy_peacock/pseuds/muddy_peacock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is driving. And there is, apparently, a ban on a particular song where the Winchesters are concerned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm On Fire

**Author's Note:**

> So it seems that my ideas come primarily from songs. And they don't seem to ever turn out how I think they will.  
> In my head, this was going somewhere else entirely but when I put it down on paper, it devolved into very short conversation about ethics rather than Dean having nightmares about his mum's death after hearing a Springsteen track.  
> Ho hum.

If there's one thing that Castiel didn't expect, it was the endless car journeys. It's one thing to visit with Sam and Dean, or to come when they call, but it's another to travel with them. 

Cramped space and tedious journey times notwithstanding, he has become increasingly used to the back seat of the Impala and although he might prefer faster methods of transportation, there are small happinesses to be found: his companions' profiles as they discuss their current case or talk aimlessly, the spectacle that is Dean Winchester singing - loudly - to whatever tape he's scrounged from the box under the passenger seat, Sam's astonishing ability to sleep with his head against the window on the bumpiest of roads, and maybe best of all shining green eyes and freckles checking in with him via the rear view mirror. 

Of course, there's also the squabbling between the siblings, and the inevitable repercussions of three male bodies living on greasy fast food day in and day out, but overall, the pros outweigh the cons. 

Today, though, Sam's complaints about near constant neck pain mean that he's stretched out - or as stretched out as he can be - on the back seat sleeping while Cas rides shotgun. It's an unexpected bonus and he's happy to be there. The radio's on, the inevitable classic rock drifting around the car at a lower volume than usual; Sam's gentle snoring is its only competition. Dean's easy and loose behind the wheel having not long ago stopped for gas and snacks and worked the knots out of his limbs when he went to pay. They've done this sufficiently in recent times that there's no tension in their silence, just a comfortable space that neither feels the need to fill. The radio DJ's burbling quietly telling stories about the tracks he's playing, interspersing his choices with anecdotes of recording sessions and feuds, and it's unassuming background noise so Castiel is more than a little surprised when Dean suddenly lunges forward to turn off the radio. 

"Why did you turn it off? Is there something wrong with Bruce Springsteen?"

"Uh, Cas, that song, it's kind of a no-no in our family, y'know? It's a little too close to the bone..." Dean trails off looking defiant and embarrassed all at the same time. 

"I believe I have seen the accompanying video for that song," Cas says thoughtfully. "The singer appears to be about to commit adultery with a married woman. But then he doesn't. The words and the images...they are contradictory and confusing. He clearly desires her but perhaps he was aware of the sin. He went to her house and I assume that he expected intercourse but he walked away smiling without ringing her doorbell. Why would he do that, Dean?" 

"I haven't seen it so I don't know, buddy. But, y'know, sometimes the thrill is more in the chase than in the capture. Perhaps he got cold feet, or went to pick up someone else... Maybe it was meant to be vague - makes people make up their own minds, let's 'em use their imagination, see? What do you think happened?"

Castiel stares silently out of the window, a question suddenly burning in his mind which drowns out the words of his companion. He's not sure if he wants to know the answer, not sure he'll be given an answer but is utterly compelled to ask.

"Have you committed adultery, Dean? Have you 'hooked up' with an married woman?" 

Dean rolls his eyes at the inverted commas plainly evident in his friend's speech and wonders if the angel will ever get the hang of talking like a real person. He's getting better at knowing where Cas's mind's headed so he'd sort of seen the question coming. He chuckles, more pleased that he's guessed correctly than by the topic of conversation.

"Cas, that's not really a question you ask a guy... But, umm, no, not intentionally. I don't normally stick around long enough to find out... The thing is that you never really know when you're out at a bar or whatever. Men don't got a monopoly on cheatin' but I figure that no woman who's happy with her man's ever gonna be out trawling for a little extra on the side. And, y'know, when all's said and done, as long as it's between consenting adults, it ain't my business." 

"But Dean, it's a commandment!"

Dean never knows whether to bless or curse Cas's naiveté. "Yeah, I know, but so's not murdering and look how well that's been goin' for Sammy and me."

"That's different, Dean. You fight the forces of evil; you and Sam help people."

"C'mon, Cas, you know as well as I do that we've done some horrible things. Damn it, every time we gank a demon a human dies. It's a thin line, man, and we've fallen on the wrong side of it any number of times. Just gotta do what ya think's right at the time; 's all ya can do. Don't see God helping all that much so the contract's kinda null and void if y'ask me. But we got enough on our plates without bein' tailed by vengeful husbands so, nah, I don't go there."

Dean looks across out of the corner of his eye. Cas's chewing his lower lip but is, for now, mercifully quiet. Maybe he'll let it go... Turning his eyes back to the road the elder Winchester ponders, yet again, that he always seems to answer the angel's questions whether he wants to or not. He's thankful, though, that Sam missed that particular conversation. 

 

*

 

Cas rummages for headphones so as not to wake the sleeping brothers and carefully hooks them into Sam's laptop. He finds the track easily enough online, pushing away an irrational sense of betrayal. 

When he presses play, the sound unfurls, flooding its way through his ears, trickling down through his core and burying itself deep. It coils, snake-like, in the bowl of his pelvis, spreading out in an aching warmth through his limbs until his knees feel as wobbly and coltish as the synthesizer's melody, and his breath comes faster as if he's been running towards he knows not what. 

He wonders how such a short piece of music with such spare vocals can cause this flurry of feeling but as he looks towards Dean sleeping on his side, hunched over and hiding from the world under cheap motel sheets, he acknowledges that he understands far more than he should about what the song intends to convey. Far more than an Angel of The Lord would be expected to know of desire, of the longing to touch and be soothed by the person that one cannot have, and of the sense of almost suffocating desperation that rises in the dark of night when there are no distractions. When the final notes fade, he decides that perhaps it's a song that should stay off limits; for now, he will follow the Winchester way.


End file.
